Favorite Nurse Calls

Here on L&D, we get a LOT of nurse calls. Some are legite, but most are absolutely and completely WACKO!! Here are some of our favorite samples from over the years....

1. "My water broke. It keeps breaking. How many times will it break?"
2. "I had a baby last week and I had a 3rd degree lobotomy. Can I still use a tampon?"
3. "Will the lunar eclipse cause my baby to have a cleft lip?"
4. "Is 5 weeks too early to have a baby? I think my water is breaking in spurts!"
5. "I think I might be 8 months pregnant. I had a hysterectomy a few years ago but I still have my ovaries."
6. "I was wondering where your heart is. Is it in the same place on everybody?
   RN: "The heart is located inside the central left part of your chest."
   "But I thought your boob was there!!"
7. "How many calories does your uterus burn when it contracts?"
8. "If you put me on pitocin, will my baby's uterus contract, too?"